Labor of love

Growing up my parents always used to tell me I didn't know what love was until you had a child.  I never really understood what then meant until I had a child of my own.  When I had Aj it was a wonderful experience and I knew I loved him immensely but I didn't truly realize how much I loved him until he got sick while we were in the hospital.  For those of you who haven't heard the story I will start from the beginning.  

  I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple of weeks and wasn't quite sure if I was in labor or not.  So one night a couple nights before I actually went into labor I called the doctor and told them that I thought I was in labor.  After I was finished they told me that I wasn't in enough pain to be in labor and to lie down and see if they went away.  Well they did so I just continued on with my regular schedule.  Well a couple of days later the same thing happened and I didn't know what to do.  I wasn't in that much pain at all but the contractions were regular and lasting pretty long.  So needless to say I said a prayer and asked God to give me one good contraction to let me know if I was truly in labor.  About a few minutes after I was done praying I had a really good contraction and woke up Arel and said lets go.  He flew out of bed and was so excited.  We drove to the hospital and started the long process of having a baby.  Everything went well and on June 20th at 3:36 in the afternoon our little boy arrived.  Everything seemed fine and Aj seemed to be healthy.  The next couple of days were amazing.  I enjoyed bonding with our son and lots of people came to visit.  Unfortunetly about 8 hours before we were suppose to go home. Aj took a turn for the worse.  That night when I was feeding him I noticed that his lips were a little blue but didn't think anything of it because I was a new mom and just thought oh maybe that is how he is.  So when I got done feeding him I handed him to the nurse and they took him to the nursery.  A few minutes later they came back and told us to come say good bye.   At first that is all she said and so of course I freaked out. Then the nurse said that they were taking him to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit and we needed to say good bye because he wouldn't be on the same floor with us.  So we said good bye and headed back to our room.  I was a wreck and bawling.  I didn't know what to do I felt so helpless and kept asking why why him.  Arel was amazing and a great support and calmed me down.  Soon after we got to visit him and it was so sad he had IVs in his tiny little body and was hooked up to an oxygen mask and a million tubes.  My heart dropped when I saw him and right then and there I realized what my parents meant when they said I didn't know what love was until him.  It turned out that he had swallowed some fluid during the birthing process which made his lungs have a rough time.  I love him so much and I am so happy that everything turned out well in the end.  He is a wonderful boy and is very healthy.